Beauty Queens

Bray, Libba. (2011). Beauty queens. New York: Scholastic.
A plane carrying a group of contestants for the Miss Teen Dream pageant crashes near a deserted island. Only thirteen of the contestants survive, but they are determined to hang on until someone finds and rescues them. At first led by Miss Texas, Taylor Rene Krystal Hawkins, the contestants behave as though rescue is just a couple of days away, and then continue to practice for the pageant and maintain their beauty regime. However, Miss New Hampshire, Adina Greenberg, who entered the contest in order to write an expose, has other ideas, and she enlists the survivors in collecting food, finding a water source, and exploring parts of the island. Before anyone can say the word "empowerment," that's exactly what starts to happen to the lucky thirteen.

Their story of survival is interwoven with individual application forms for the pageant as well as commercials for The Corporation, which sells all those beauty products that everyone just has to have in order to be more attractive. There are footnotes sprinkled throughout the book too, which adds another level of enjoyment to the title. Several of the young women have secrets that come to light as they bond on the island. The island itself is hiding a secret as well, and once Miss Texas stumbles on that secret, she will never be the same. In this mash-up of our fascination, er, obsession, with celebrities, beauty pageants, reality shows, and with nods to Mean Girls and Lord of the Flies, the author takes aim at popular culture in her own satirical style.

While I must confess that I enjoyed the book before the arrival of the pirates--themselves also a part of a reality television show--more than after they arrive and certainly more than when evil dictator MoMo or beauty pageant guru Ladybird are introduced as part of the plot. That over-the-top aspect disappointed me as well as the rather long ending scene which spells out the girls' future while they're all dancing in celebration. The subplot did nothing for me, actually detracting from my enjoyment of watching the teen dreams fend for themselves and become friends rather than rivals.

Bray has the gift of making her readers laugh at her lines while actually laughing at themselves and their own antics, beliefs, suppositions or even buying habits. This one is not for the faint-hearted or insecure, for sure.  The cover is awesome too!

Favorite Lines:

“Hi. I’m Heather Heather, and I’m famous but I can’t remember what I’m famous for. It doesn’t matter, because now I’m famous for my crazy-awesome figure—made possible by Breast in Show, the plastic surgery center where you can build your perfect body” (p. 211).